It's 5:30 a.m. when the phone rings. I jolt awake suddenly, praying it isn't bad news from the hospital. When I answer I hear a strangers voice on the other end.
"Mrs. Bradford.", the lady says.
"Yes.", I reply.
"I'm sorry to call and wake you so early. My name is Sister Marybell Edwards, from St. Mary's Memorial.", she says in a soft voice.
My heart skips a beat and I feel as though I am not breathing when I ask, "are they. . . ." I can't even bring myself to finish the question.
Yes Mrs. Bradford. They are both still alive but the doctor wanted me to call and let you know that your husband has taken a turn for the worst and he would like you to get here as soon as you can. Again, I am sorry.
My breathing returns and I tell the lady thanks for calling as I ever so slowly hang up the phone.
Only a few short days ago my husband and I were planning out our daughter's fifth birthday party. We had all the invitations passed out to all of Amy's friends at her school and church. A big cake was being make. It was to be a radiant pink with a purple border all around, Amy's favorite colors. Right in the center was going to be a big beautiful doll. We had all the decorations ready to put up in our church fellowship hall where the party was to be held. Any was only going to be five once and her party was going to be perfect.
Wait a minute! What am I thinking? The lady said that they weren't dead. They are not going to die! I love to much! I just want let them.
I hurry to get dressed and before daylight, I slip out into the cool morning air and am on my way to the hospital. I had only been a few short hours when I got the call. The rest of the time I have been at the side of my husband and child, praying for them to get better. Through my tears I say another prayer for them as I make the long drive to where they lay barely clinging to life. God help them. Please!
I get to the hospital at about 8:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Today is October 16th. It is Amy's birthday. Right now John and I should be getting ready to leave for church. The fellowship hall should be ready for her party. The day we had been looking so forward to. How could I have known that three days ago John and Any would be on their way back from the pet store with her new baby puppy and the tire would blow out? How could I have known that today of all days, I would be here waiting to speak with my husband's doctor.
"Mrs. Bradford, The doctor will see you now.", I heard a voice say from a small room around the corner.
As I walked into the room, I saw a large picture of a waterfall on the wall. The beautiful white water was cascading down an ice covered rock wall. It was a Winter scene with all of the pale blues and shining, brilliant white snow and ice that make you feel as if you are really there. The room wasn't at all like an office. There was no desk or office furniture. It looked alike a very nice den or living room. The walls were painted an off white and there was a beautiful flowered couch and several chairs.
The doctor came in and told me that he was sorry but my husband was on life support. He had stopped breathing a few short hours ago and while I was on the way to the hospital his other organs had also quit working. He told me he was very sorry and he wished he had better news but even with all he and the staff had tried to do, it wasn't enough. My husband was brain dead. The only thing keeping him alive was the machines. He also said I should think about letting them disconnect them and letting him go. "Again, I am very sorry.", he said as he left the room.
This nice lady came over and sat beside me. "I'm Sister Edward. We spoke on the phone.", she said. I couldn't speak I just laid my head on her shoulder and cried.
After what seemed like forever, when I had cried and ocean of tears, I asked Sister Edwards if she knew how Amy was doing. She told me that she was the same. There had been no change. They were still waiting on me to decide if I wanted them to do the surgery on her brain. They had told me it was quite dangerous and might kill her but if they didn't she would probably die anyway.
All of these decisions. What was I to do? Marybell, that is what Sister Edwards asked me to call her, said they were about to have service in the Chapel and asked if I would like to attend. I told her I would like that very much. So I went.
The service was short and I don't remember much of what was said. I do remember the minister saying to turn it all over to God. What ever was wrong in your life, to trust him. In my heart I prayed:
Father in heaven, I know all things are possible with you but maybe I have been praying the wrong way. You know how much I want my husband back. You know I love him and my daughter very much but I leave it up to you. I now ask that, although I want them back, if it isn't your will and you are ready for them to come home, please give me the strength to accept that and let them go. Lord, not my will but your will be done. In the sweet name of Jesus I pray. Amen.
Although in my heart I longed to have them both with me the way it was before the accident, I knew I had to let them take the machines away from my husband and let him go but I still had to decide on the surgery. This was a decision I still didn't know how to make. How do you decide on the life of your child?
As I sit there on the bench after service, I see a little girl sitting there beside me. She is about the same age as Amy.
She looks up at me and say, with the sweetest voice, "MY Mommy just died. She went to Heaven to be with Jesus but she told me she loved me. I asked her why she had to go and she told me everyone had to go sometime and that I still had my daddy. She told me that there was a little girl that was about to go to heaven and her Mommy wasn't going with her. She said that she was going to go and be with that little girl until it was time for her Mommy to come and be with her. I miss my Mommy but God needed her in Heaven."
As I sat and listened with tears in my eyes, a cold chill rushed down my spine. I knew than that I wouldn't have to make the decision about whether to do the surgery on my precious Amy.
Years have gone by and I still don't fully understand what happened that Sunday morning. They disconnected the machines from my husband and he went to be with Jesus. Later that same day, after I got to tell her bye and I loved her, Amy went on also. I kept the puppy that we bought for our daughter and I have never seen the little girl from the hospital again.
I lost my husband and daughter both on that day and I still miss them terribly but at least I know that someday I will see them again.
By Mark Davis