Ten oclock in the morning, a light fog, fifty seven degrees, and drizzling rain is how I guess you could describe the day that would change my way of thinking forever! A day and an event that I will never forget as long as I live. A story that I just have to tell&
I think to myself, as I get ready to leave, My only day off from work in over a week and I have to spend it taking my mother to get her drivers license renewed. Why do I always have to be the one to help everybody who needs it? In trying to justify the way Im thinking, I continue with my thoughts. Its not like I dont love my mother with all of my heart. She knows that. Its just that she has been in a nursing home for so long and hasnt driven in years. She doesnt need them anymore. Anyway, I am just so tired. I need my rest. I have to work to make a living. I cant work and not rest on my day off. The thoughts continue on as I continue the grueling task of getting ready to pick up my mother and start the thirty two mile trip to the DMV office.
Oh great! I think to myself as I walk out the door, Just what I need, rain. I know this trip will be fun. I get into my car and leave to pick up my mother. I look down at my gas gauge and my thinking starts again. Less than a quarter of a tank of gas in my car. I hope we have enough to make it! What am I thinking? This isnt even my car. Things are going so bad right now that I am having to borrow my brothers car. Mine broke down and I dont even have enough money to get it fixed or to get another one. I dont even think that it is worth trying to fix. It would probably cost more than it was worth! Once again the thoughts continue on while I pick up my mother and we start to drive.
On the way down my mom makes the comment about what a nice day it is. Here it is raining and she says that it is a nice day! I know what is coming next. Liquid sunshine! Yea, thats what mom always calls the rain. Liquid sunshine. As I look around the car while Im driving, I try to see things the way that she does. I see all of the beautiful green trees. I see the snow covered mountains way off in the distance. I then look and try to see the liquid sunshine. All I can see is the rain that is making me have to drive slower and will make it take much longer to get home.
Mom and I talk quite a bit on the way to the DMV. I ask her how things are going at the home and she tells me that they are fine. I know in my heart that she hates it there and sometimes she even tells me so but today, she is really having a good day and is in a wonderful mood. Liquid sunshine! I think to myself again. Why in the world does she call it that? Although I have asked her many times before, I decide to ask her again why she calls the rain liquid sunshine. Once again she tells me that it is like the sunshine. The sunshine makes everything look bright on a clear day. After the rain, every thing looks bright, fresh, and new. I just shake my head and continue to think about how I dont have much money and how I cant really afford this trip.
The DMV office is at one end of a long row of old buildings. The buildings are in the middle of a square that is surrounded with one way streets. What else would you expect is such a small town? Of course, the only parking place is all the way at the far end of the row. I get out of the car, go around, and help my mother out. We then start the long walk.
We dont really say much as we walk and all I can do is continue with the train of thought that pulled out of the station earlier that morning. I dont really have anything. I never make enough money. Every one is always asking me for something. Why am I always having to help someone else? If I only had more money and didnt have to work so much just to make ends meet, I wouldnt mind so bad. If only& My thoughts are interrupted by my mother's voice asking me if I brought her old drivers license from the car. I tell her no and say that I thought she had it. By this time I am really annoyed. Not at my mother exactly but just life in general! I start the long walk back to the car and continue the conversation I have been having with myself all morning.
I reach the car and look inside for the license. Of course I cant find it. Mom always puts things up and forgets where she puts them. She probably put the license up somewhere and doesn't remember where! She doesn't need them anyway! I cant afford this today! I need some rest!! I should be at home sleeping!!! The thoughts continue to pour in almost as much as the rain that by now has started to come down quite nicely. Ah! There it is.
Just as I close the door to the car and turn around, I see a man. He is a tall skinny black man probably in his mid to late fifties. He is wearing an old pair of jeans, a pair of sneakers that look like they are probably older than he is, and a dirty looking shirt. On top of that he is wearing a faded flannel jacket. Its not really a coat. Its actually not much more that a heavy shirt.
As I turn around to carry the license to my mom so that we can get through with this and hurry home, I hear a voice behind me. Excuse me. Sir. the voice says. In my mind, I picture the man I just saw. I start thinking again, Great! Some homeless person is trying to get my attention. Probably wants some money. I dont have any money. Why is it that I work hard all of the time to make money and they are always asking for handouts? I decide to ignore the old man and keep on walking. Maybe he will go away.
Just then I feel a tap on my shoulder and hear his voice again. Sir! Excuse me sir. As I turn around, he continues. Do you have a coat? By now I have had about all I can take as my thoughts race! What is this? Here I am trying to help my mom. I have no money. No car of my own. Not enough hours in the day to do everything I need to do. Its raining and I was in such a hurry when I left the house, I didnt even get a coat out of the closet! Now, this man wants me to give him a coat!! I then turn around; trying to be as polite as I can at this point, and tell him I dont have a coat! Once again I turn around and start walking.
DO YOU WANT MINE? the nice old gentleman says. I turn around in shock to see him standing there in the rain with a big smile on his face. He is in the process of taking off his jacket. All of a sudden, I feel so small inside! I cant believe the way I have been thinking all day. Here this man, who looks like he has nothing in this world, offering to give me his coat. I just continue to stand there and try to figure it all out. Like in one childrens Christmas story, I think my heart may have grown three sizes that day! Almost at the point of tears, I look at this kind man and tell him no thank you. I tell him to keep his jacket. I explain that I have several coats at home and that I am just fine with out one.
On the way home later that day, I saw thing in a different way. I saw thing with more love and compassion than I ever have before. I saw things in a new and different way. Liquid sunshine! my mom said while looking out the window and this time I knew exactly what she was talking about.
Written by Mark Davis